Reflections Defined...

December is a time for reflection and celebration. Ok...I'd be lying if I said I remembered everything awesome that has happened this year.  I can barely remember what the heck happened last weekend.  Each year I do my best to remember the high points and celebrate them.  I also reflect on the low points and wonder what to do about them.  This year I've spent a lot of time thinking and reading about...

...failure.  I've had moments this year where I've debated with myself weather or not I am failing at my life.  I look at the goals and dreams I've had for years and wonder if I will ever achieve them.  I recently listened to an Eric Worre podcast that provided me with a better way to look at that situation and others like it, a better way to improve my self-talk. He stated that he taught himself to believe that he never lost.  He either won or he learned.

Don't get me wrong, the simplicity of this concept does not escape me.  I understand that we live in a world where the prevalent belief is that there are winners and losers, those that succeed, and those that fail. One is considered good the other bad.   I'd like to challenge you to think about this:  Words have the meaning that WE assign to them. Dictionary.com has several definitions for the word fail.  One of those definitions is as follows: "to be or become deficient or lacking; be insufficient or absent; fall short:". When taking that definition at face value it's no wonder we fear failure!  But what if... what if we assigned the word "opportunity" as the definition of the word fail instead of the definition above?

What happens when we assign the word opportunity to the meaning of "fail"? We suddenly have choices!  We can choose to accept the dictionary meaning and allow the experience of our perceived failure to drag us down into a negative space. Or.... you can choose to LEARN from the experience.  You can learn by reviewing the steps you took and deciding to keep the steps that worked and modify or remove the ones that didn't work.  The next time you reach for that goal you will know what NOT to do.  Life is about growth and growth comes from reaching for and achieving our goals.  If we don't reach our goals, if we don't learn, we don't grow.  What then is life about?  I'm not saying that it is easy to do but it is easy to understand the concept. 

You must put in the work for whatever you want in life.  Unfortunately, we live in a microwave society.  We want what we want, and we want it NOW!  I believe that when we get what we want, when we want, without putting in the work; what we wanted frequently lacks value, substance and meaning.  The excitement of getting it is short lived and hollow.  It becomes just another thing.  On the other hand, when we get what we want after applying our time and energy sometimes our blood, sweat and tears there is a sweetness to it.  You tend to cherish and/or take pride in what you work for.  

There is a meme currently circulating Facebook wishing that 2019 is easier than 2018.  I recently realized that it bugs me! I can honestly say I would rather be better equipped to handle whatever comes my way.  Yes, I realize that "easier" is a relative word and some have had horrible events take place this year.  My intent is not to detract from the importance or severity of events others have experienced.  I speak for myself.  If it is "easier" do I have a chance to grow? As the few remaining pages of this year's calendar are torn away, I look back on 2018 with a mix of emotions. There were times when I succeeded and times when I failed.  It is an ongoing task not to apply the dictionary definition of "failure" to my life. If I stop reaching the dictionary definition of failure takes root.   If Instead I continue to reach for my goals, I may just succeed one day.


​I don't know what 2019 has in store for me.  I look forward to basking in the sunshine of winning and rising to the challenges of growing.  I look forward to reaching and then surpassing my existing goals.  I look forward to setting new goals and experiencing new growth.  I've decided that in the coming year I too will never lose. I will Win, or I will Learn!

---