Excerpts from the Friendship Handbook

Friendship Handbook circa beginning of time

Hello Readers…
​Yes, I’m still here!  I know it has been a long time (about 6 months).  Why so long you ask?  Life kinda jumped in the way.  Life has been known to do that when we mere mortals have the audacity to make plans. It sorta looks like this ...

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Clear as mud right!?
Anyway…to I am here to share some excerpts from the “Friendship Handbook”
Recently a buddy of mine experienced a great loss in her life.  I won’t provide any identifying details.  I will just say that she, like anyone would, is having a tough time getting through the grieving process. This is expected… it’s not an easy process. As a result, I do what I believe is necessary. What is necessary is being a friend. She frequently seems somewhat amazed that I do things for her or say things to her.  I repeatedly explain that I must, because it’s in the handbook.
 
As with lots of things in life, there are guidelines. Friendships are no different. Luckily, I have access to the oldest friendship handbook known to the world.                                                       
The authors are many and mostly unknown. Their contribution whether it be large or small is always welcomed. 

Revealing the book’s location is a major transgression.  if I were to disclose the location, I would be duty bound by the P.A.L. Guild to bring your existence to an abrupt ending! 

Prior to this post only those that are, or are aspiring to be a Best Friend, Ride or Die, Buddy, Dawg, Home Skillet, Blood, Homie or your favorite term for friend, even knew of this book's existence.

I have been authorized by P.A.L to share a few excerpts from the Friendship Handbook with the general public.  P.A.L. has recently seen a decline in its membership.  They believe that this is due predominantly to Social Media. 
​Let me be clear Social Media is NOT all bad.  Social Media can inspire people to achieve great things. It can bring us together in ways never imagined.  It can and has saved lives.  It’s an amazing feeling to finally “find your tribe” and be happy with ”your people”, realizing that you are not alone.  It goes south when tribe members begin to believe that those who don’t agree with the tribe are Less - less intelligent, less significant and somehow evil. When people are belittled or alienated based on differences, lied about and blatantly abused simply because they happen to disagree...the breakdown of society is eminent. P.A.L.’s goal is to remind the public why we need each other and why friendship is important.
So... lets get on with it.

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• ​When visiting, best friends are allowed (dare we say expected) to use the back door/garage as the primary entrance.  They may enter without knocking or knock while entering.  
• If hungry or thirsty you know where the fridge is…go for it!  If you cook, make enough for everybody.
•  Come over, have fun… you get drunk and no one is picking you up, your car keys belong to the house. You find a spot to sleep until sober. Period. End of discussion.

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• When you are lonely – Call or come over.  If you can’t I will come to you.
• When you are in denial or being an ass,  it is my job to call you on your shit.  
• As a best friend you are duty bound to provide hugs whenever needed (this also appears in Section 221 –It Bears Repeating –)
•  You need to talk, we will converse; you need to vent, I will listen; you aren’t sure what you need we will sit together in silence. (I'll bring the ice cream)

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• We are best friends, there is no such thing as time and distance.
•  If you need me in an emergency 3 AM is no big deal 
• When you call me after a 10-month absence the conversation flows like we saw each other yesterday.
•  If we decide to go for a drive it is perfectly acceptable to cross state lines, several of them if necessary.

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• Someone mistreats you, disrespects you, you drive, I’ll bring the shovel.
• I not only know where the bodies are hidden, I know why they had to be hidden in the first place. 
• I expect you to take a plate home, you don’t have to ask.
• Sorry and thank you only need to be said once.
• Its okay to say I love you!

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